You Don't Wanna Hit That

Well, a new school year has begun. I have learned a few things already:

1.) Mr. Nelson does not want us to have porn on our phones because 'we don't want to hit that'.
2.) If a site says 'FORBIDDEN', you should stop hitting that.
3.) I am going to freaking love my AP English 12 class. (Libby and Hubert and Brittany!) Plus, I really like Mrs. Adams-Legge.
4.) If I stay in Food and Nutrition, I think I'll like it. The teacher seems really cool and I need an easier class considering the rest of my classes are rather difficult for me.
5.) Eating outside isn't really that great.
6.) They need to change the lunch tables back. Like, now.
7.) I am going to love Sociology, I think. (PS: Fawzia, I picked black - the color of sexuality, power, and death.) I hope Mr. Walker turns out to be as good and interesting teacher as I hope he will be.
8.) Math. Sucks.
9.) So do the school lunches.

That's about all for now. I'm not sure what my actual class schedule will look like since I'm switching to AP World History next week and I don't know what that will switch around just yet. I asked Fawzia a question and she never answered. :(

I'm on a new bus now, and some people actually took  the time to talk to me (even though I had my headphones on xD) and were surprised to realize I was a Senior.

I don't recognize most of the people at Sherando any more, both because I was gone last year and because now that I am a Senior, everyone else I knew has graduated except for my one or two lowerclassmen friends. It's a bit jarring.

To Recap:

My sister had a baby.
I volunteered at the soup kitchen tonight and sadly did not get to go to Cali's house to help redecorate her room.
Tomorrow I am going to Sherando to speak with teachers, change schedule-things, and get my books.
Saturday Fawzia and Brittany are coming over and a cookout is happening.
Sunday I am hitting Books a Million with Libby and some other people for a scavenger hunt because we're nerds.
Monday and Tuesday I will be doing that required reading AP English stuff.
Wednesday I start my senior year of highschool.

Well, that about sums up everything for now.

(PS: My sister's baby is like the cutest thing ever. Just saying. It's her third and final. My sister is ten years older than me.)

Paper Towns

‎"'But when it came right down to it, the skin of my wrist looked so white and defenseless that I just couldn't do it. It was as if what I wanted to kill wasn't in that skin or the thin blue pulse that jumped under my thumb, but somewhere else, deeper, more secret, and a whole lot harder to get at.'" She sits back down next to me, close, facing me, the fabric of our jeans touching without our knees actually touching. Margo says, "I know what she's talking about. The something deeper and more secret. It's like cracks inside of you. Like there are these fault lines where things don't meet up right."

Exterminate, Regenerate

Well, it's been rather busy lately. Last week I was at the beach (North Carolina) which meant that I watched a bunch of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings movies and read lots of books and avoided the outside in general on principle. No matter how lovely the outside is, inside is always just a little bit lovelier to me. After that vacation with D&D (Doug and Darcy) I spent several hours cramped in a small truck. Then when we finally made it back to Stephen's City, instead of going home, I was dropped off at Cali's house for her birthday party (which was fantastic and filled with lots of mountain dew) where we watched a lot of movies and played 'Never have I ever' and became in lesbians with each other. After a while, most of the people left and it was only myself, Cassy, and Hubert who spent the night. Cassy and Hubert got a couple hours of sleep, whereas Cali and I stayed up and talked the whole time. When I went home, around noonish I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight-something-pm.

THIS week I'm going to (potentially) hang out with Brittany and Fawzia at some point. Tuesday night I am spending the night at Kristen's (My sister's) and giving her her baby shower present (Baby socks and some really freakin' good fudge. I feel like she needs fudge. Fudge is good. Also, I don't have a job.) Saturday my mother is flying or driving to VA to spend a couple days with me (school shopping and such) and with Kristen (She should be having that baby soon) before heading back to Louisiana. Dad is staying on the farm there and is not coming up. My brother's surgery went successfully, I presume, since I have not heard otherwise and I don't think there was any risk really involved in it anyway and the Air Force is paying for all of it.

For some reason, a short conversation I had with Hubert and Cali (I think others were listening but I do believe they were the only ones who said anything) about afterlife and how I don't believe that there IS an afterlife after death. Hubert seemed surprised at this, and Cali in general agreement with my hopes. I suppose with so many people clinging to religions and superstitions that I would cling to the hope that an afterlife does not exist. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it DOESN'T exist (how the hell would I know? I'm not dead yet.) or that [insert deity(ies) of choice here] doesn't exist, I'm just saying I prefer to believe and hope that it doesn't. I don't judge people who live their lives hoping for the opposite - an afterlife and some sort of deity or whatever - but to me, there are few things more depressing than imagining an afterlife for myself or make me more furious than imagining a deity. In order to live my life with the values I hold dear and have the comfort I need from the world in general (which is really all what this is about, isn't it? making the life HERE easier to take, since there in not indisputable fact that an afterlife of deity actually does exist) I have to believe that neither a deity nor an afterlife is in existence. I want THIS life to mean something. My life had a beginning, and it damn well better have an end.

Now, I am watching some old Nerdfighter videos and having anxiety about the upcoming school year, as per usual. Also, that whole 'future after high school' thing.