Exterminate, Regenerate

Well, it's been rather busy lately. Last week I was at the beach (North Carolina) which meant that I watched a bunch of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings movies and read lots of books and avoided the outside in general on principle. No matter how lovely the outside is, inside is always just a little bit lovelier to me. After that vacation with D&D (Doug and Darcy) I spent several hours cramped in a small truck. Then when we finally made it back to Stephen's City, instead of going home, I was dropped off at Cali's house for her birthday party (which was fantastic and filled with lots of mountain dew) where we watched a lot of movies and played 'Never have I ever' and became in lesbians with each other. After a while, most of the people left and it was only myself, Cassy, and Hubert who spent the night. Cassy and Hubert got a couple hours of sleep, whereas Cali and I stayed up and talked the whole time. When I went home, around noonish I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight-something-pm.

THIS week I'm going to (potentially) hang out with Brittany and Fawzia at some point. Tuesday night I am spending the night at Kristen's (My sister's) and giving her her baby shower present (Baby socks and some really freakin' good fudge. I feel like she needs fudge. Fudge is good. Also, I don't have a job.) Saturday my mother is flying or driving to VA to spend a couple days with me (school shopping and such) and with Kristen (She should be having that baby soon) before heading back to Louisiana. Dad is staying on the farm there and is not coming up. My brother's surgery went successfully, I presume, since I have not heard otherwise and I don't think there was any risk really involved in it anyway and the Air Force is paying for all of it.

For some reason, a short conversation I had with Hubert and Cali (I think others were listening but I do believe they were the only ones who said anything) about afterlife and how I don't believe that there IS an afterlife after death. Hubert seemed surprised at this, and Cali in general agreement with my hopes. I suppose with so many people clinging to religions and superstitions that I would cling to the hope that an afterlife does not exist. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it DOESN'T exist (how the hell would I know? I'm not dead yet.) or that [insert deity(ies) of choice here] doesn't exist, I'm just saying I prefer to believe and hope that it doesn't. I don't judge people who live their lives hoping for the opposite - an afterlife and some sort of deity or whatever - but to me, there are few things more depressing than imagining an afterlife for myself or make me more furious than imagining a deity. In order to live my life with the values I hold dear and have the comfort I need from the world in general (which is really all what this is about, isn't it? making the life HERE easier to take, since there in not indisputable fact that an afterlife of deity actually does exist) I have to believe that neither a deity nor an afterlife is in existence. I want THIS life to mean something. My life had a beginning, and it damn well better have an end.

Now, I am watching some old Nerdfighter videos and having anxiety about the upcoming school year, as per usual. Also, that whole 'future after high school' thing.